Saturday, January 29, 2011

COPD Remedies

The ads for COPD remedies are cigarette commercials 40 years later. It's the same outdoorsy people. Instead of trying to hook up, they're out chasing grandchildren.

Saturday, January 22, 2011


Maytag was always the exception to the rule. Through the 1970s and 80s, it was one of the few American made machines that thrived and competed. It was a success story that was often used in business school as a case study. "Why couldn't Detroit be like Maytag?" Their quality was not only good enough for America, it was good enough for Japan.

In 2007, after 100 years of loyal service from workers in Newton, Iowa, Maytag was bought by the scum at Whirlpool. The plant was closed.

"You're welcome."

I suppose the Iowans said worse.

Production moved to Mexico, but it's unlikely that Maytags will become solidly Mexican products, as the VW Bug did. Instead, production is likely to move and move again, from one contract manufacturer to another, crossing borders and oceans again and again.

A formerly great name is now just a meaningless label taking up space.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame

It is often said that rock was rebellious at one time. I mainly remember a lot of rebellious posturing. Eventually, it was just another corporate machine. Now, there's a hall of fame.

The hall started by inducting those who deserved to be there. Later, as every year needed an induction ceremony, standards loosened up. Even promoters, whom nobody liked or likes have made it. Still, the idea persists because, "The Hall of Everyone Remotely Associated with Rock Music," would be a tough sell. The categories from "Early Influences," to businesspeople are as endless as the list of inductees.

Consequently, I propose inducting W. H. Auden into The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as an Early Influence. Auden wrote poetry. Many lyricists read poetry and think of themselves as poets. Clearly, Auden must have influenced someone who wrote a hit song.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Surf Magazines

Surfboard: Noun. An object upper-class twits hide behind as they attempt to look cool.

Surf magazines date back to the time everything went wrong with surfing, when the Gidget movies were released. One could argue that surf magazines don't belong on this blog. Instead of declining, they have been consistently bad.

There is so much they could write about, namely declining water quality. This and other issues, which could make the current generation of surfers the last, are largely ignored.

Instead, magazines like Surfer and Surfing are all fluff. Boobs, parties and waves take up most of the 2% of their space that isn't advertising. Every issue is the same as the last: Hey kids! Let's go to Hawaii!

Saturday, January 1, 2011

American Toilet Paper

Our toilet paper used to be so great that you didn't notice it.

Now, manufacturers are trying all kinds of gimmicks. They'll do everything except give value for your money.

Their biggest problem is the width of the roll. For decades, all toilet paper was the same width. It has been getting thinner and thinner for a long time. The spaces where rolls hang in people's houses are still the same size. The newer rolls rattle around back and forth, yet we pay more than we did for the real ones.

Do they think we haven't noticed?

The first company to make correctly sized toilet paper again will make a fortune.